Nip Slip N’ Slide Apparently Deemed “Inappropriate” for Children

BREAKING NEWS: The popular Slip n’ Slide franchise soft launched a new product – the Nip Slip N’ Slide in a remote coastal Florida town last week. The slippery family fun backyard game invoked both joy and horror amongst the locals.

“I bought tree [three],” said the local toothless pervert in Crocs whose shopping cart only contained a 68 roll package of cheap toilet paper and all the seasons of The Simple Life on DVD.

“My son will continue to wear tassels as he slips and slides…there will be no slips at his birthday party. Blasphemous,” says local mom.

Regardless of the controversy, shortages of the Nip Slip N’ Slide is creating chaos in retail outlets, and the Crocodile Mile just isn’t a suitable substitute.

No Scene will be selling Nip Slip N’ Slides in the Merch Perch as soon as we can convince our uncle to sell us a few of the 50 he bulked up on.